new post

i need to write a new post, because the misery i had written is not healthy to keep up. i am not going to bother putting this on myspace tho, just want to update this blog here. i am really tired! yawn! so 2007 is amonsgt us! i have a few resolutions, not really...just want to succeed and start doing something. i am happy with my boyfriend and sometimes i imagine living with him and stuff like that, but we both have things we need to do. this whole thing with 'anand jon'...well, i dont know...
he has been ,,oh listen to tyra asking nicole ritchie if she is anorexic..ugh! sorry! this is my 'more serious' blog...
im not trying to be funny.
so he has been saying to me about acting classes, however, well, ever since i met him i never was like, thinking he was my mentor in any way. in fact, first thing i thought when i seen his website, 'this guy is full of himself!'
i am tired.
he constantly says things, repeats things, and i notice it. he says things and just because he said it he thinks i agree. he doesnt ask for my particular opinion, just tries to make him feel better, 'settled', by saying his orchestrated, recited sentences.
i dont feel afraid of him. why? why would i be?
i have a respect..well. just in the fact that i am respectful of course one needs to have respect to give it...whatever! i know my own head YOU dont!
i know i am going to do something grand. im not saying ,becoming famous is what is important! i just feel a need to be someone, someone i dont know why? i do need to start working. i am a good worker. i would love to do acting! i can get into character, i just need to get over my self consciousness. i used to be really shy and quiet all through school. i never talked alot in school. i am more outgoing now and dont worry about what people think of me, but sometimes i get back to feeling like i did in high school. i get flustered, like i did when i read a monologue in front of casting agents. i messed that up, cuz i got nervous. i feel if i get over my nervousness and insecurities, i can do it. and i WILL do it! youll see!
there are so many things i want to do in life and i know i can do it. i feel it. i have always felt it. also publish some stories of mine. thanks for checking out this ol'blog! good night