cozy life fantasy

this is just a fantasy i am having..so anyways, whats the big deal of having
a normal life? i mean, who sez one has to go to bed before midnight, wake up and have the normal job? you dont have to! i mean, well i want to have recognition in my life. i imagine being an author. i set my own hours, working on the computer when the passion, ideas, and creativity strike me. the best time is night for me. well, i seem to stay up late. i know, i feel like a loser, but this is only a daydream. so, i have my own apartment. cozy little one, decorated to my liking, my style. lots of paintings, you know, plants, fish
aquarium, the white christmas lights, cozy rug, i be walking around with the fuzzy socks i found, comfy pj pants...you know? oversized tee shirt...make me a nice drink, or like, nice glass of wine..like, i have read anyone can make money selling porn movies. i could just make movies with my boyfriend and sell the clips, i could make some good money that way. plus i could also do my payed photoshoots as well. i can make like, 200dollars for a 2 hour (nude/lingerie) photoshoot. sometimes the pictures come out great too...i could have
a fucking cozy life!! i really could! instead, well, here i am my parents house, typing on a computer that pisses me off, subjecting myself to basically work for a fashion designer for free, having him make fun of me and put me down...i wonder if anything good will come again. i need to burst the fantasy i was having..because i get bored. i want action, lots of people in my life. the author thing tho, well,. that seems great...(back to fantasy world :) HEEHEE!!!) so like, i still will be hot, i still will run on my treadmill and have
my diet in my quaint little kitchen with my healthy foods..oh yes! um...um....um....i forget! darn!!! oh, i would like to move somewhere cool , like new orleans...somewhere away from phillipsburg nj..oh, i just want my own apartment..the little apartment in beverly hills i can deal with, but i have lived here and like, i want my own coziness...my kitchen, my bathroom, my well lit place...goodness sake when will i be happy? when will i feel content? what is the point of my life? what am i supposed to be? where am i going? when will it start happening for me? am i succumbed to live in bad luck forevor? i dont know why i am alive. i guess its cuz i was supposed to die when i was younger but it didnt happen now i am forevor stuck in lingo....