fizz party

Im kind of like this, um, getting paranoid about who reads my blogs <>, BUT...it will be so embarrasing to me if people i work with through anand somehow found my blogspots and are reading everything i am writing!!! AAGGHHH!!! i doubt it i think i am being paranoid...
anyways, so i said i brought shannon up, well, tuesday night she had went up there on her own, but i came in wednesday at around noon. everyone was there, pretty much...im not going into detail because i wasnt really noticing..like, lauren was there of course, and some other insubstantials it doesnt really matter if i name everyone who was there..shannon, yes...but anyways a group of them leave with anand and i stayed behind at the apartment with vikas, this girl serena, and amy, (who was in park city the one who invited me to the slamdance party jessica simpson lookalike) for real! so, and, other people but it doesnt necessarily matter. we were just basically getting ready for the fashion show/party, which, of course, everyone can view on wireimage...then we get to fizz and i see shannon and lauren put to work hanging up curtains, and i have to help vidya, who i find so annoying. i really dont mind helping but when people assume i am trying to be an intern when i am trying to be more than that, its just like, whatever..!!! but who cares...and i didnt even get to get my hair or makeup done, because anand (onion, al anon, and,...what every normal persn calls him HAHAHA!!!) normal in the real world not his fantasy world where he is king!!! but yeah, and then everyone gets to look all hot and sexy, and he has me wear jeans once again, and a boring tee shirt im sick of wearing, but it says Body By God, which i like, and a long denim duster coat which hides me and i feel like some sort of mary poppins...i dont know...whatever i didnt really care. i was excited that i seen patrick at the bar, cuz the room we were in was behind the bar and i seen him i was like, "HEY!!" all excited...and he is like, i'll talk to you later..or something...so then we had to all walk out like a bunch of idiots showcasing his clothes, just kidding, not idiots. hair and makeup were good, of course i didnt get mine done...neither did lauren or amy or shannon tho...cuz we arent with an agency..which im starting to think, i need an agency..i need comp/zed cards whatever you want to call them. i need that to be tooken seriously in the entertainment world, and i really want to get started on my acting classes,you know??? so they took pictures and stuff but i was in the background so im not on wiremimage but i dont care...camille was there too we were talking and all...camille is great! a bunch of other socialites were there too, the bregmans,,,bronfmans, two different girls, and like, others i dont even know.. donald trumps son...etc...but you know...soOoooooOOoo...we were standing in the room and i seen patrick by the bar closer to the room we were at, and hes having a drink and im standing around then i finally make eye contact with him and hes like, "hi lori how have you been?" oh my god he really is hot and turns me on im SORRY!!!!! and hes just like, talking to me and all..i see nosy rebecca around..who cares...i dont! i like hiM!!!! AAGHHH!!!! well, bla bla bla...i have a champaigne, dave got me one...and VIDYA comes and gets me!!! oh my god, i was like, "Chill!! Calm down" shes like, weird,,she cares so much about working and i dont even know why!?! shes just an intern!! then i got to talking again to patrick and this guy richie who owns a house in the hamptons and is kind of funny in a brooklyn way...but i got paranoid he read this...dont ask why..oh, cuz he says, bring some of your friends over if they like italian guys..i was like, why would he say that? im weird!?! i dont know... but i was like hanging around but then me and vikas and shannon went upstairs and seen the um, the white limo left us meaning anand and company left.. boo hooo!!!! even tho i put my bookbag in there i didnt care, i just went back, i seen patrick and i was like, the limo left us and he was like, "Good i can get you a drink then" so i went to help a bit , seen shannon and vikas having a cigarette, and went back out and seen patrick and he got me a cranberry and vodka,, and i was holding my coat and it was bothering me and i didnt know where to put it so he took it from me and i didnt have to tell him anything..i know, silly!! and im not really talking but standing next to him, just happy but whatever im a dork...then i see shannon and vikas they are all kind of slow dancing, she said she liked him..hehe!!! anyways..um...patrick is like, im gonna call you within the week but i was like thats what you always say and you never do!! ugh!!! hes so sexy tho he has these really seductive sexy eyes..i dont know...smoldering..is that a word? like a fire...like embers in a fire...HA!! im a retard!!! oh my god, then vikas introduced shannon to him and hes like, patrick...(WHATEVER!!!???!!!) and she goes to me, "Oh, this is Patrick?" I was like, i didnt know what to do, i just stared ahead and kind of nodded NO..embarassed...!! like, why would she say that in front of him!???! i look like a stupid girl now!! anyways, someone came and got me and siad we had to go and so i was like, call me!! and hes like, i will i will...then he leaned it but since im just used to people hugging or giving a quick kiss on the cheek , (or the european way, air kiss both sides of face) i had my mouth turned and he kissed just the tip of my mouth, then hes like, i'll call you, but then he said come here and gave me a kiss on my mouth and it felt so good and it really made me feel weird but in a good way...and i just kind of stumbled away but richie was like said something to me Bye or whatevr..who is reading this!???! its a freaking online journal, and im all typing in it like its a little Dear Diary (bratty kiddy voice..i used to think kitty rides not kiddie rides) type of thing....wait, its NOT THE END OF THE STORY THO!!!!! so we all pile up and go back to the apartment, and like, i asked if shan and i can have champaigne, bla bla bla,,i hear patrick and them are stopping by and they did they stopped by so i got to indulge myself into being in his vicinity a little longer, which, think about it, its so hot when you have this fucking lust over someone and you dont get to see them often and then its like, so hot when you finally do, but also, its hotter when you dont relly know the attraction and i know that we did hook up in las vegas but whatever he is still sexy to me...enough!! im sorry...(i know no one is even reding this!!!) well they left and we hung out and i got chance -photographer- to make me some Hawaiian punch and vodka, which i said was great cuz it was a kiddie drink and an adult drink combined!!! YAY!!! and as i started to drink more i was talking about movies i like-Labyrinth, i always wanted to be the girl in it, and he says, You are the girl in it, and i dont care if i made a fool of myself in front of anand or cathy jones Fuck it you know???? so next day boring boring shannon left but i stayed to get a photoshoot done and all...should be on the website just have to wait and see.. so today is friday and me, im gonna go and enjoy myself cuz i have been going to and fro the city for a week now need me a break! unless PATRICK calls me and invites me up then hell yeah honey!! that kiss felt so great, a regular closed lip kiss but it just reminded me of like, i dont know, high school crushy but he is a bit older than me...hes hot tho....right shannon? shannon met him...